The Lasering: Pregame
The laser clinic was a bit hard to find. It is in one of those fashionable "medical" clinics on Brookline ave... you know, the ones with a big glass dome that specialize in bleaching hair. This particular laser clinic wasn't particularly well signed. Initially I walked in, downstairs, into the boiler room, and into the janitor's closet. I couldn't tell you if they seemed like a respectable place to get a medical procedure done, but by their electric meter they sure did use a lot of juice.
Once I found them, though, they looked like a small operation desperately trying to look like a bigger operation. Their first waiting room was built to look like a doctor's office. Their second waiting room had reclining wicker chairs with white towels laid across them, but the telltale room shape of a low-rent basement store. They devoted more floorspace to those waiting rooms than the treatment rooms. It smelled like a Natural Wonders.
The lady that took me in for the consultation was quite sweet, friendly, and hadn't a spot of hair below her eyebrows. Her nails were impeccably done in a shade of blue reminiscent of a lounge singer lost on a trail of undulations. While I like my medical professionals old, craggy, and uncaring, she seemed like she was 25 and still hadn't quite been crushed by life. Oh, and she was full of helpful facts, such as:
1. You can't actually call it "hair removal" in the US, as that honor is reserved for electrolysis and raising teenagers. It is just "hair suppression." It will, eventually, grow back.
2. Supposedly it is painless. Also, they offer numbing cream for 25$ per session. I'll let you draw your own conclusions.
3. It works by a highly scientific principle known as the "Magnifying Glass / Ant" theorm. The laser creates an intensely hot burst of light, like what a magnifying glass does to the sun. Your armpit hair is dark enough that it absorbs the light, baking off the root of the hair. Just like an ant... though hopefully less explodey. Remember how they said it was painless?
4. A full series is between 6 and 8 sessions of 1 hour each, spread apart by 6 weeks. Too much longer, and your follicles recover.
5. No swimming or strenuous exercise for 2 days after the session. Nothing that might raise body heat is allowed. Things like rock climbing, jogging, or the biggest damned heat wave to hit the east coast in years. Otherwise temporary or permanent discoloration can result.
In 2.5 hours time, the treatment starts. Let the games begin!
Once I found them, though, they looked like a small operation desperately trying to look like a bigger operation. Their first waiting room was built to look like a doctor's office. Their second waiting room had reclining wicker chairs with white towels laid across them, but the telltale room shape of a low-rent basement store. They devoted more floorspace to those waiting rooms than the treatment rooms. It smelled like a Natural Wonders.
The lady that took me in for the consultation was quite sweet, friendly, and hadn't a spot of hair below her eyebrows. Her nails were impeccably done in a shade of blue reminiscent of a lounge singer lost on a trail of undulations. While I like my medical professionals old, craggy, and uncaring, she seemed like she was 25 and still hadn't quite been crushed by life. Oh, and she was full of helpful facts, such as:
1. You can't actually call it "hair removal" in the US, as that honor is reserved for electrolysis and raising teenagers. It is just "hair suppression." It will, eventually, grow back.
2. Supposedly it is painless. Also, they offer numbing cream for 25$ per session. I'll let you draw your own conclusions.
3. It works by a highly scientific principle known as the "Magnifying Glass / Ant" theorm. The laser creates an intensely hot burst of light, like what a magnifying glass does to the sun. Your armpit hair is dark enough that it absorbs the light, baking off the root of the hair. Just like an ant... though hopefully less explodey. Remember how they said it was painless?
4. A full series is between 6 and 8 sessions of 1 hour each, spread apart by 6 weeks. Too much longer, and your follicles recover.
5. No swimming or strenuous exercise for 2 days after the session. Nothing that might raise body heat is allowed. Things like rock climbing, jogging, or the biggest damned heat wave to hit the east coast in years. Otherwise temporary or permanent discoloration can result.
In 2.5 hours time, the treatment starts. Let the games begin!
posted by Chris at
11:39 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home