No-Restaurant November, Day 1
Thankfully, the adventures at this "super-markets" thing have come to a close, and I have emerged with that most masculine of human needs: beef.
Today will be a beef stew to be frozen, peppers with tuna rice to be frozen, and mashed potatoes to be frozen. Also, bacon wrapped beef, spare rice, pasta... An incredible amount of food goes into a week when you're not just grabbing bacon egg and cheeses from Dunkin Doughnuts. It's crazy. It's daunting. The sheer quantity of food to prepare for a week is like the Starks preparing for winter. Presuming, of course, they weren't all fictional. And dead. But unlike Game of Thrones, let's make something happen here!
[an hour later] How do people make this much food? Do people just have a recurring Google calendar event? I haven't chopped this much celery since I was doing foley for a horror film. The mountain of carrots are all staring back at me wondering why I want to kill them all at once. I imagine this is what daddy carrots tell baby carrots to scare them into going to bed at night.
[two hours later] My god, the potatoes, they never end! I feel like I angered the captain of a World War 2 submarine. "I'm sorry mein capitan! Das potatoes will be peeled in a veek. I vill never call you a sour kraut again." My hands have seized into claw-like potato holding appendages, with each peel being a twitch of my frozen musclelogs. We need to start breeding these things without skins. Or genetically modify them to self-peel. We've done more horrifying things, genetically.
[three hour later] Two cans of tuna were entirely green on the inside. Is that normal? Smelling them makes me feel... woozy. But a good kind of woozy. A healthy woozy. Is that the tuna talking?
I had been wondering if tuna-stuffed peppers freeze well. This may not be the right question. Like all things jammed into a freezer, I'm sure they'll freeze just fine. Will they unfreeze well? I usually associate words like "fresh" and "crisp" with both vegetables and frozen things. So... what could possibly go wrong? Hmm... there are more batteries in the freezer than actual food.
[five hours later] THE FOOD MONSTER STORMS ON AND ON AND ON AND ON. I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE MY DRUNK KITCHEN LADY.
[six hours later] It's done. My masterwork of food is finally done. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat a yogurt.
Today will be a beef stew to be frozen, peppers with tuna rice to be frozen, and mashed potatoes to be frozen. Also, bacon wrapped beef, spare rice, pasta... An incredible amount of food goes into a week when you're not just grabbing bacon egg and cheeses from Dunkin Doughnuts. It's crazy. It's daunting. The sheer quantity of food to prepare for a week is like the Starks preparing for winter. Presuming, of course, they weren't all fictional. And dead. But unlike Game of Thrones, let's make something happen here!
[an hour later] How do people make this much food? Do people just have a recurring Google calendar event? I haven't chopped this much celery since I was doing foley for a horror film. The mountain of carrots are all staring back at me wondering why I want to kill them all at once. I imagine this is what daddy carrots tell baby carrots to scare them into going to bed at night.
[two hours later] My god, the potatoes, they never end! I feel like I angered the captain of a World War 2 submarine. "I'm sorry mein capitan! Das potatoes will be peeled in a veek. I vill never call you a sour kraut again." My hands have seized into claw-like potato holding appendages, with each peel being a twitch of my frozen musclelogs. We need to start breeding these things without skins. Or genetically modify them to self-peel. We've done more horrifying things, genetically.
[three hour later] Two cans of tuna were entirely green on the inside. Is that normal? Smelling them makes me feel... woozy. But a good kind of woozy. A healthy woozy. Is that the tuna talking?
I had been wondering if tuna-stuffed peppers freeze well. This may not be the right question. Like all things jammed into a freezer, I'm sure they'll freeze just fine. Will they unfreeze well? I usually associate words like "fresh" and "crisp" with both vegetables and frozen things. So... what could possibly go wrong? Hmm... there are more batteries in the freezer than actual food.
[five hours later] THE FOOD MONSTER STORMS ON AND ON AND ON AND ON. I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE MY DRUNK KITCHEN LADY.
[six hours later] It's done. My masterwork of food is finally done. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat a yogurt.
posted by Chris at
12:08 AM
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