Saturday, June 14, 2003

Nintendo and Konami collaborating

"Gameboy Advance is our gift to the world," said Shigeru Miyamoto, Nintendo's lead designer. "Players have to frolic outside under the sun to enjoy our creation. Sitting next to gardens, ignoring hidden bushes and other secret areas, players wile away the hours of the day outside squinting at their machines as if contemplating the mysterious role of magic and technology in their futures. Striking the necessary balance between sunlight and glare is like balancing the blinding joys of your family with the with often painful glare of public persona. Children exploring a digial representation of what it is like to be children.

"But soon cheats became available in the form of unlicenced 3rd party attachments. Instead of playing outside together but separately, they were able to play at night, inside houses, or under the shade of trees. 'What is going on here? What is on the screen? Is that a coin or a fireball?' The enticing exploration of obfuscation offered by the Gameboy Advance was lost to the cheating light of clear answers. 'Oh, that's a coin.' There was no mystery. No joy. No sun."

Miyamoto then went on to describe some of the specifics of the collaboration with Konami.

"Konami and Nintendo are collaborating to correct this situation. With Boktai, Konami has released a game requiring gamers once again to play outside under the sun. You become a true half human, half vampire hunter, trying to solve the game before you yourself burn. This level of interactivity has never been seen before in a game. This game brings players back out into the sun with their machines, the way they were designed to be played. Once again, thousands of young and young-at-heart can ignore the grass beneath their feet and stay oblivious to the secrets surrounding them. 'What is under the glare?' 'Is that an enemy or a retina spot?' Thanks to Konami and Boktai, the true spirit of the GameBoy Advance re-emerges.

"Our upcoming Pikmin Cube, the first 1,024mb cartridge available for the Game Cube, will also take advantage of this technology. Pikmin Cube contains miniature Game Boy Advances which must be planted in brightly lit spots to become colorful little Game Alien Advances, which can be used for such things as distracting your aliens from their work and re-infusing them with a child-like wonder. Like all Game Cube games, Pikmin Cube will take advantage of the Link cable to transfer your own miniature Game Boy Advance, which you must then bury in a sunny spot in the garden. After two weeks of the right combination of warmpth and moisture, something magical happens. I won't tell you exactly what it is, but I can say that it is cute, happy, and out to save the world.

"The future is as bright as a sunny day again."

-Article reproduced with permission from Optometry Review

(Note: The above is purely a satire on the irony of Boktai's unique game mechanics on the GBA, and not a commentary on the execution of the game itself which, at this point, look pretty strong. Mr. Miyamoto did not say any of the things attributed to him in this satire.)